This is the first time Sands Queensland has had a blog, following on from successful chatroom sessions we conducted a few years back.
Do you feel that you are able to more openly share your experience and what the birth and death of your baby has meant to you?
Do men and women blog? Or is it only men?
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8 comments:
I tried posting this comment a couple weeks ago, before this "talking point" section was here, which is what I wanted to respond to, and hence it's in the wrong place now. :) But anyway, here it is again, in the right spot....
"....I think it's great that SANDS Qld has a blog. I've never signed up before, (until now) but my DH has a blog.
I think I would be able to share some things openly about my experience of miscarriage & loss of embryos through IVF treatment."
Anne
I have just come across a Yahoo forum which some may find supportive to join. It is also moderated. I find this gives me more of a sense of privacy with personal discussions on the internet.
It was mentioned in the latest "IVF Friends" newsletter.
Loss During Pregnancy & After Birth support group
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/ourlittleangels_ivfaust/
I have just come across a forum which some may find supportive to join. It is also moderated. (I find this gives me more of a sense of privacy, with personal discussions on the internet.)
It was mentioned in the latest "IVF Friends" newsletter for August.
Loss During Pregnancy & After Birth support group
http://au.groups.yahoo.com/group/ourlittleangels_ivfaust/
Good on SANDSqld for taking this challange up...
I think people can express themselves more freely in the privaousy of their home. It also allows people to be heard when they need to have a say, knowing that no-one is going to look at them as if they have lost the plot, free from judgement.
Lets face it, we belong to an elite group of people, on that no-one ever wants to join, and sometimes, "normal" people just don't and can't understand.
Karla Kirby
Talking Point Nov 08 - I've found that most family members aren't interested in hearing me talk about my miscarriage any more (not that I do it that often) and one person even told me she is sick of the topic. I found this quite hurtful at the time and haven't spoken to her about it since.
I had lent her a couple books on the topic and offered to lend her another at the time, but she said she wasn't interested as she 'knows all about it already'. I was puzzled about this, as she has never been through a miscarriage before (or losses through IVF). I even heard her say to one family member that "it all gets a bit boring after a while" (my miscarriage, fertility treatment and our up-and-coming move). I found this comment in particular, very hurtful!
SANDS QLD has been so good to me with all the support given to me and my family after several miscarriages and IVF treatment and pregnancy. I am not sure how I would have coped without the help of Liz and the friends I have made.
Thank you.
Cheryl
I have always been very open about our loss, and have found many online mediums in which to share and get support.
I think it's a great thing that SANDS has started a blog.
I definately don't think that it's only men who Blog.
I just read my own comment which was I posted last year and since then this same family member who wasn't interested in hearing any more about my miscarriage, has now said that she regrets not supporting me more in my grief and doesn't feel they did enough in that area. She said that they now understand a little more of what I went through since my sister has just gone through a stillbirth in April 2009. This is something I would never wish upon anyone and I feel we all went through it with her to some extent. In some ways my miscarriage helped my family and myself be better prepared to support her in her pregnancy loss. It is so sad though that it took this to bring about such empathy, but I guess the reality is that unless someone has experienced a pregnancy loss first hand, it is hard to understand another person's grief? I just notice there is a total softening now in this family member's attitude to my grief, as she grieves alongside my sister. Perhaps I would have been just as detached from my sister's grief, if I hadn't gone through my own miscarriage and fertility losses? It has been hard in some ways though as it has reinforced my sense of grief over my own losses but I also think that it has been hard to separate myself from her loss at times. It has sometimes felt like I am going through it all over again. And at times grief does separate us from others, especially in the early stages, also because no two people grieve the same way. At other times it can bring us closer together and make the pain somewhat bearable.
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