Talking Point AUGUST 2008

This is the first time Sands Queensland has had a blog, following on from successful chatroom sessions we conducted a few years back.
Do you feel that you are able to more openly share your experience and what the birth and death of your baby has meant to you?
Do men and women blog? Or is it only men?

25 YEARS OF SUPPORT

To mark the anniversary of Sands in Queensland, we would like to invite parents, families and friends to submit a patch to go into a Memorial Quilt.
All members are encouraged to think about creating a patch in memory of your baby. If you have previously created a patch in memory of your baby you are welcome to do another for this quilt.
You might prefer to create a patch that symbolises the support that Sands provided when you had the greatest need. The Memorial Quilt will hang in the Sands house in Brisbane.
Size for your patch –
Each patch will measure 26cm square. This will allow for a 3 cm border around the patch to enable it to be sewn onto the hanging.
Photos are welcome on the patch but they must be copied into the fabric and not done as a transfer. Transfers will crack and deteriorate over time. You can be as creative as you like or you can use the services of an embroiderer and get a professional to create your patch.
You can use material that is textured, coloured, plain, striped, quilted. You make like to sew small keepsakes or buttons onto the patch. Some parents have used paint pens.
We are fortunate in the office as the quilts hang here permanently and they are a wonderful reminder to everyone who enters of the special Sands babies.
If you need any further information please phone the office on 3254 3422. We can email photos of the previous quilts to you.
The deadline for the quilt is Monday, 15th September 2008.

SUBSEQUENT PREGNANCY Night Meeting

Dr Judith Murray, Sands parent, author, researcher and lecturer will talk to Sands parents about the psychosocial aspects of a subsequent pregnancy.
The decision making process regarding a subsequent pregnancy may be a difficult one for some parents.
Judith and her husband Michael co-authored the book “When the Dream is Shattered”. Many parents have gained valuable insight and support from reading this book.
The subsequent pregnancy evening will be held on Tuesday 19th of August at 7.30pm at the Sands house. Supper will follow.
For catering purposes please RSVP to the Sands office on 07 3254 3422 by Monday 18th August
2008.

Joyously Anxious?

The process of decision- making that parents engage in when thinking about planning a subsequent pregnancy can be complicated. For some parents the issues surrounding a new pregnancy are clear cut and the decision is easily made. Sometimes if the reason for their babys death is clear, the decision may be relatively easy. However for others there can be many issues that need to be addressed.

For all parents however, there are some issues that can be discussed as an aide in the decision making process.

• The spacing between the pregnancies is an important aspect to be thought about.
• How much of the grief journey has been travelled before embarking on another pregnancy – for either parent? Are both parents in a place to manage a new pregnancy?
• How is the mum physically? If the baby was born by caesarean section is the mum physically ready for another pregnancy?
• If your baby had lived when were you planning on another baby?
• How many children have you planned on having? Does that number include the baby who died?
• If you have to conceive using reproductive technology are you both emotionally prepared to commence treatment?
• Are there genetic factors that need to be investigated?
• Was the previous pregnancy high risk and will those conditions be evident in another pregnancy?
• What family/friend support can be relied upon in a new pregnancy? And after the new baby is born?
• Are there financial matters that need consideration? Will mum need bed rest and be unable to work through the pregnancy?
  

How do you feel about attempting another pregnancy after the death of your baby?

If you have already experienced another pregnancy, please share any thoughts, feelings and strategies that helped you during your pregnancy.

How did your partner manage this time?